What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize