these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
