shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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