Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
