im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
