How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just high enough for therapy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
