I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drake has all the answers
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
