if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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