There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
