I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
