I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
