morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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