I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
