This girl is more easily done than said...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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