he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
