we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
