ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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