I think I am morally bankrupt
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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