I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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