FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
