I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
