You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
