I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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