Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize