Moan for me like Helen Keller
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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