Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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