Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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