it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He passed out mid-signature
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
