Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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