Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
