when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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