she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
