Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
