Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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