I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
