Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
