I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
