That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
cat food counts as protein by the way
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
