Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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