don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
