i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
wow bdsm is so cute
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