I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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