If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
