and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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