My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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