Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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