I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was born a porn star she said
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
