Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
