her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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