We're like a lot better than the average bears
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
