absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
