oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize