Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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