we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He has the fingertips of a God
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