I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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