maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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