the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
