I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
