Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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