apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
