I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
