even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize