John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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