this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
