Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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