I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
