You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
