Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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