I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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